


Studious Shadow

by Imagining_in_the_Margins



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Crushes, F/M, First Meetings, Flirting, Fluff, Interns & Internships, Mutual Pining, Self-Insert, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24530401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagining_in_the_Margins/pseuds/Imagining_in_the_Margins
Summary: Reader’s crush won’t stop avoiding her at work and she thinks he might hate her.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 191





	Studious Shadow

I couldn’t believe I was finally standing inside the bullpen of the BAU.

I’d been hearing about it for years from Aaron. Well, he would talk about his work with my parents, and I would stealthily eavesdrop. I was pretty good at it. But hey, he didn't seem upset about it, especially now that I’d decided that profiling, or at least something analogous, was exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

That’s why, now that I was in my last year of undergraduate studies, Aaron Hotchner had agreed to let me shadow him at the BAU.

Well, whenever our schedules lined up and he and his team were actually in town. After a month of canceled plans, I'd started to think it would never happen.

But here I was. The day had come, and he hadn't called me to cancel! And I'd made it all the way to Quantico, got onto the base, and made it into the building.

And now I was _in the bullpen_.

The only problem is, the person who got me here had assumed I knew what I was doing since I know Aaron. I definitely did not. So, recap: I was in the bullpen, a place I’ d never actually been in before, and I had no idea what was going on or what I was supposed to do.

After a brief scan of the place, I noticed a man curled up in a chair, drawing his index finger incredibly quickly down each page of the book in his hand. It had to be him. Awkwardly shuffling over to his desk, I poked my head over his book. He didn’t notice.

“Are you Dr. Reid?”

Surprised, he suddenly sat straight up, dropping his book on the ground. It was kind of adorable, but I also felt terrible.

“I’m sorry!” I shouted, bending over to pick up the book at the same time as him, which made us both knock directly into each other. Smooth.

“I’m sorry!” I repeated, already wishing that I could start this entire interaction over. Why had I been excited to be here, again?

“I-It’s sorry. I mean, I’m sorry. Hello. I’m sorry. Yes. I’m Dr. Reid. C-Can I… Can I help you?”

I was so enamored by his flustered, charming, adorable response that I almost forgot why I was there myself. I suddenly felt less like an awkward loser standing somewhere I clearly didn’t belong.

“Yeah, I uh…” I was saved by his phone going off. Once he glanced down, he held up a finger, mouthing an apology at me before answering.

“Hey Hotch—“ He was cut off, I’m assuming because Aaron was about to tell him that he was not, in fact, going to make it. Something must have come up.

Spencer’s warped expressions told me what was happening. Aaron was probably telling him to send me home, let me shadow Spencer instead, or push me off to someone else.

I wondered which one he was going to pick.

“Uhh… yeah. Okay. Yeah, sure. I will uh…” He was panicking. It was not looking good.

I leaned against his desk, holding my notepad close to my chest. I tried to regulate my breathing as he gave his farewell to Aaron, turning his attention back to me. Which would it be?

“Hey, so, I’m really sorry but SSA Hotchner just told me he’s not going to make it, and uh… He’s probably a much better guide than me.”

_Oh no. He's picking option A, isn’t he?_

“I understand if you want to resched—“ He started, but I stood up, excitedly yelling, “No! I want you!”

That came out wrong and drew way more attention than I was anticipating. Shit!

“I-I meant. I want you to… I don’t mind if it’s you, if you don’t mind.”

He stared at me like I was speaking another language; except, I'd been told this man could speak several.

“I just, I wasn’t really looking forward to it being with Aar— I mean, Hotchner specifically. And I’ve had to reschedule three weeks in a row already.” His leg bounced just slightly as I spoke, and I couldn’t stop looking at it. I hoped my begging could be enough.

“I’m going to be honest, I’m really not the best person to do this kind of stuff.”

I don’t know why he thought that. Honestly, he was the closest in age to me. He was definitely smart, a genius from what I'd heard, and he seemed… charming. A little goofy, but can’t we all be sometimes?

I shrugged and gave a small, unsure smile. “How would I know? I’ve never done it with anyone else before.” Oh god, why did I keep saying things that sounded vaguely sexual?

“Oh. Sure, yeah. That’s… That’s okay then. Sure, you can stay. Let me get you a chair.” Thank god, he didn’t notice. Or if he did, he was just being a proper gentleman and ignoring it so I could die in shame by myself.

“Wait, I can stay?!” I shouted, my demeanor shifting before I could really even comprehend what was happening. He turned back to look at me, and the smile he returned made me feel like I wasn’t a burden. He seemed genuinely happy to see me react this way.

“Sure.” He responded, dragging a chair over to his desk.

“Thank you so much! I promise I won’t bother you!” The words poured out of me in my extreme gratitude, but I don’t think he minded. If anything, it seemed to calm him down.

He turned back to his work, and I leaned over to see what he was looking at. He stopped, looking back up at me.

“Sorry, I don’t think I can’t read as fast as you. You can just give me the pages after?” Aaron had warned me that Dr. Reid was not the most perceptive, and the concern he showed for our predicament was evidence of that.

“Do you… Do you want me to just talk about it? I’m told it’s not exactly thrilling reading for most people.” His question sounded so trepidatious, as if he were asking me if I'd be interested in jumping off a cliff with him.

“Oh, if that’s okay with you? If you don’t mind? I probably wouldn’t know what I was doing anyway…” The nervous laugh shared between us would have been uncomfortable if he didn’t look so cute when he did it.

He immediately shot into a long explanation, and I got lost in my thoughts within seconds. Shit, maybe this was a bad idea. Was this why Aaron hadn't wanted me to do it with him? Oh no, even my thoughts were vaguely sexual now.

Wait, Dr. Reid was talking. Shit. Focusing all my attention on his words was harder than I thought, but I somehow managed to do it. I even got some questions in every now and then. But honestly, learning from him was so much better than any question I could think of.

He wasn’t just smart, he was captivating. He had a way with words that I couldn’t explain. Hadn't he said he was bad at this?

I tried to watch him as he spoke, but it was distracting. He had a tendency to fix his hair and lick his lips in a way that shouldn’t be allowed in public. Instead, I focused on the notes I’d scrawled in my legal pad. 

“Hey pretty boy, boring our intern already?” That was the voice of Derek Morgan. I’d actually met him before, very briefly. I’m sure he didn’t remember me.

“He’s not boring me. I’m really enjoying myself, actually.” I piped up, which was obviously a surprise to both of them. Myself too, a little, if I’m honest.

Derek laughed, gesturing to me as he joked, “She’s either a great liar, or you’ve found a female version of you.”

I saw Spencer shrink into himself a bit, but I sat up straighter, turning to Derek. “Thank you, those are both wonderful compliments. Must admit I’d prefer the latter, though.”

The response from the boy genius was probably the closest I’d seen him come to smugness so far. Derek, however, put his hands up in surrender.

“Don’t let me interrupt then.”

Once he was gone, it was just the two of us again. He looked down at the words I was continuing to scratch on the notepad. “Sorry. I know it’s weird to take notes during a conversation. I just think it’s very interesting.”

Spencer smiled, and I noticed a glint in his eyes that told me he more than understood what I was talking about. “Oh, no, I don’t mind at all… I’m just… Most people don’t let me talk this long, let alone take notes.”

I didn’t think before I responded, my first thought coming out in a quiet confession, “Most people don’t recognize things of value before someone cleverer tells them to care.”

His eyes were now burning into the side of my head, and I was scared to look. He didn’t say anything.

The rest of the evening went a lot like that, with Spencer explaining every aspect of the abundant forms, reports, and technicalities. I’d never been so interested in something so transactional. I think I just had a wonderful teacher.

The day was coming to an end before I knew it, and I was dreading it. As far as I knew, it could be the last time I actually got a chance to be there.

I found myself wondering if there was a way I could convince him to teach me, even if our schedules never aligned again. I wondered if Aaron would let me continue shadowing him, if by a stroke of luck they did.

“(Y/n).” Oh no. The second I heard Aaron’s monotone voice I knew that the day was coming to an end. I glanced over at Spencer before I responded, just to find him also looking at me instead of his boss.

“I’m sorry for not being here earlier. I know this is the first time you were able to make it here.” Aaron finally addressed Spencer, that barely discernible grin on his face.

“Reid, I’m surprised to see you didn’t ask JJ to help you. I’m certain she wouldn’t have minded.”

“Thank goodness he didn’t,” I responded, much to the chagrin of the Agent to my side. I got the feeling he wasn’t used to such blatant compliments.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it was a positive experience. Please, come with me to my office. Hopefully we can arrange some extra possible dates to make up for the time we’ve lost so far.”

Aaron certainly was supportive. Realistically I knew that he probably treated me a little bit nicer since he’d known my family forever, but I also knew with certainty that he was a good man.

“Thanks, I’d like that.”

I got up to gather my things and noticed that Spencer had halfway returned to his work, although a bit distantly.

“You better be careful, Aaron, or else Dr. Reid will become my favorite BAU agent.”

“Watch out, Aaron.” Spencer joked back, and I had to stifle my laugh at the playful insubordination. Aaron just shook his head, but I’m pretty sure I saw him chuckle.

In Aaron’s office, I sat quietly as I looked around at all the tiny details scattered around. He had been staring intently at my schedule in front of him, comparing it to his own and marking down possible days when I could come again.

When he finally finished, he held out the paper to me as he spoke, “I hope Dr. Reid didn’t get too carried away in his lessons today. He does have a tendency to do that.”

He still seemed so much more formal than I was used to in this environment, but it wasn’t bad. Just strange.

“He was wonderful. I really enjoyed working with him. He… is charming.”

Aaron watched me with what I’m going to call suspicion, but that was an understatement. He definitely knew that I had a crush. To be fair, I don’t think you needed to be a profiler to realize that.

“That’s not a word I’m used to hearing to describe him, but I’m glad to hear it.” Still hesitant, he watched me carefully to see how I reacted, if I did at all. I tried to stay as calm as possible, looking back at him with the same determination to learn as I had before I'd realized that the pain-in-the-ass savant he always mentioned was so adorable.

“If you’d like, I can ask him if it was okay for you to continue primarily shadowing him. I can’t guarantee it, though. If it becomes too distracting for either of you, I won’t hesitate to supervise you myself.”

Oh my god I had done it. I didn’t even attempt to stop myself from smiling. I was grateful. I wouldn’t let him down.

“Thank you, Aa- Sir.” I corrected myself, trying to maintain the perception that I could be professional, even when I doubted it myself.

“It’s alright. That’ll take some getting used to for the both of us.” Nepotism had never felt so satisfying. I stepped forward, extending my hand to him. As he shook it, I thought this internship might just work out after all.

While I was waiting for the elevator, I looked back to the desk I’d spent the day at. Spencer was talking to Agent Morgan, and both of them looked particularly relaxed. I could barely hear them, only catching bits and pieces. They hadn’t seen me leave Aaron’s office.

“How was my day? It was… Good. Kind of great, actually,” Spencer commented.

My heart beat harder in my chest. It was so out of control I actually held my hand to it, like that could somehow control the rhythm.

“I could tell. I haven’t seen you laugh that much in some time, man,” Morgan joked back. “Definitely never seen a girl laugh that much _with_ you.”

“Yeah…” Spencer started, a troubled but jovial smile, “She’s…”

He never finished his sentence. Because he saw me, watching him with wide eyes full of hope. He looked mortified. My face started to flush, but the ding of the elevator tore my attention away.

Derek followed his line of vision back to me, too. My eyes never left them as I stepped sideways into the elevator, wondering if I would ever learn what he'd been about to say.

— _One Week Later —_

It’s been a little over a week since the last time I was in the bullpen and I had not stopped thinking about my last moments spent there. I immediately scanned the room for Spencer, hoping to try and figure out whether or not he had also been thinking about the incident.

He wasn’t at his desk, although when I got closer, I smelled the familiar, comforting scent of coffee coming from a mug next to a stack of papers.

“Hey, are you the intern?” A woman’s voice called from behind me. When I turned to face her, I tried to look less suspicious as I clearly snooped at Spencer’s desk.

“Yes! Hello! Agent Prentiss, right? I’m (y/n).”

She accepted my handshake with a bit of a chuckle, noticing the slight tremble in my voice and the reddening of my cheeks. 

“He’s in Hotch’s office,” she answered the question I hadn’t asked. I nodded, biting down on my lip as I tried to regain my dignity.

“Thanks. I still don’t know if I’ll be shadowing him. Aa— Hotch told me he would ask.”

She took a seat at her desk with raised eyebrows, like she was trying to find a tactful way to word her question. It didn’t work.

“You requested him?”

“Yeah, is that weird?” Her response wasn’t verbal, her eyes squinting as she gave a halfhearted wave of the hand.

“Not weird. Just… surprising.”

I didn’t have a chance to respond, as the door to Aaron’s office swung open, revealing Aaron marching forward briskly with a very frantic Spencer close behind him. He seemed to be completely unaware of his surroundings.

“Hotch, it’s not that I _can’t_ do it, it’s just a matter of whether I’m really best suited for the job.” His tone was urgent, and what I’m guessing was supposed to be hushed. It was not. I could hear him _very_ clearly.

“Reid, you’ll be fine. You always say you want to be a Professor. Consider the next couple of months training.” Aaron wasn’t having any of it. Still, it made me feel bad to think Spencer might not actually want me around.

“A Professor is a very different job than this. This is something very different— did you just say a couple of _months_?!” The pitch in his inflection jumped, and I have to admit I did laugh a little bit.

“Until the end of the semester, yes,” Aaron replied as he and I finally made eye contact, shooting me an almost imperceptible glare for putting him through this.

“Hotch I can’t be alone with her for nine weeks—!” Spencer was cut off from finishing his thought by two things. The sequence of events was almost instantaneous, but one certainly happened a split second before the other. Right before Aaron began to speak, Spencer looked up to see me watching the scene with an awkward smile.

“(Y/n), I’m glad to see you’ve made it. Everyone, please meet in the conference room in twenty minutes. Reid, please catch (y/n) up before then.”

This time I actually reached out to stop him, to ask him if it’d be better for him to just help me, since Spencer clearly didn’t want to. But Aaron left before I could ask, probably because he knew I would.

I had asked for Spencer, I could hear him saying, so now I would be stuck with that decision. Even if he hated me. Great.

“Good morning, Dr. Reid,” I tried to salvage what little dignity I had left. Spencer was scurrying over to his seat with his head down, as if it would make this whole thing less awkward. It did not. If anything, it made it a little more so.

Then again… it was pretty cute when he was flailing about like a recently born giraffe.

“Hey… about what I was saying,” he started, a pitying look in his eyes. I didn’t really want to hear it.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for eavesdropping. So, what’s the meeting about?”

Seemingly grateful for avoiding the subject, Spencer opened the file, telling me about the case they had just returned from the previous week. Throughout the conversation I noticed that he was steadfastly avoiding eye contact. While not entirely strange, I couldn’t shake the feeling that every time I looked away, he was looking back up at me.

Probably just wishful thinking.

Twenty minutes passed very quickly, and I was glad. Spencer had gotten antsier the longer we sat there, even though I wasn’t doing anything. It’s like he was becoming allergic to my presence— the longer I was there, the more irritated he got.

As we walked to the conference room, I wondered if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable. I supposed I'd have to ask someone else later.

We were the last ones to arrive at the conference room, and I noticed that the only seat remaining was next to Spencer. Part of me wanted to just stand, but the heels I was wearing were ridiculously uncomfortable.

So, I took a seat next to him, trying to flash him a quick smile, but he looked away as soon as I turned towards him. Ooookay, then.

“Alright everyone,” Aaron’s voice finally began, “as you all know there was a problem during our last case that needs to be addressed.”

But my reprieve did not last long.

Suddenly, the familiar whooshing sound of the Doctor’s arrival resounded through the room. I wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that my phone was really going off during my first conference room meeting at the BAU, or the fact it was my nerdiest ringtone.

“I’m _so_ sorry,” I quietly apologized, absolutely mortified. I quickly shut my phone off, shoving it back into my briefcase and turning my attention back to the front of the room.

The technical analyst had a scandalous look on her face from across the table, but it wasn’t aimed at me. No, she was staring at Spencer, who was desperately trying to dodge her gaze.

He eventually failed in his mission for a second, and I watched her mouth “oh my god!” To him. Confused, I looked back to Spencer, who mouthed back “shut up.”

I heard a couple more people snickering, and I looked around, my eyes landing back on an embarrassed Spencer.

Was I missing something?

“Reid. Is there a problem?” Aaron was clearly not enjoying these games I had unintentionally started. I wished I could just collapse in on myself like the dying star I was. Or at least let the next sound I heard be the TARDIS coming to take me out of this room.

“Uhhh,” Spencer started, collecting his papers in a panic, “Yeah, actually. I have to— Sorry. Excuse me.”

He didn’t return for most of the meeting, only coming back at the very end. I shifted in my seat, trying to pay attention to what was in front of me.

It was the longest meeting ever. It probably wasn’t, objectively, but it certainly felt that way. Not soon enough, it was over. So now I got to sit awkwardly next to Spencer at his desk, rather than in the conference room. At least there were fewer people there, so that was a plus.

“So… I’m guessing you hate Doctor Who?” I asked, to which Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, laughing just enough to seem defensive. “What? Why would you think that?”

“Well, back there…” I started, pointing to the conference room, but he cut me off.

“Oh, that? No, that was… something else.”

“What was it then?” I was genuinely curious at this point. There was a story behind this.

“Garcia knows I’m a fan,” he replied, which was actually more exciting than I thought it would be. Leaning forward and grabbing the end of my seat, I pressed.

“Oh, you are? That’s fun. Who is your favorite doctor?”

He pondered the words for a couple seconds, and then broke out into a very long, but thrilling monologue.

“I’m not sure that I really have one. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses. Tom Baker’s Doctor, the Fourth Doctor, is the most popular of all of them, and it’s for a good reason. Aside from having years on the others, he was able to capture the true essence of all the reincarnations before him while also creating a unique tenet of the Doctor’s personality that would far outlive his Doctor. Even among people who never watched the original series, the image of the long scarf is still very prevalent. Which is funny, considering Begonia Pope, the woman who made it, made it that long because she didn’t receive appropriate instructions. Some versions of the scarf are _24 feet long_.”

I nodded along, wondering how much more he would have to say about the other Doctors if I had asked him directly. I’m certain he wasn’t telling me everything about this one, either.

I almost stopped him at this point, but he began again. “The next most popular Doctor is David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor. In fact, some people skip the entirety of the Ninth Doctor just to get to him, which is a mistake if you ask me. Also, you know, there’s actually a widely accepted theory that each of the Doctors represent the emotions they felt strongest during their regeneration process. By that logic his would be the embodiment of love.”

“He’s one of my favorites,” I finally interjected with a smile. “I also love Rose Tyler.”

“Yeah. There’s a lot of criticism that the Tenth Doctor’s romance with Rose Tyler was incompatible with the character, who was arguably largely depicted as asexual and aromantic for a lot of the show, but that doesn’t really make sense. After all, the Doctor was married before.”

While he spoke, I wondered if he noticed how much more comfortable he was in moments like this. It was the most fun I’d had so far on this humiliating day. I hoped it would stay like this.

“So, it’s not so much that he was incapable of those feelings, but more so that he was very selective in his partners. After all, it’s hard for an essentially immortal being to romantically bond with a human. It’s more likely he experienced emotions so deeply that when he lost one of those people it took him a long time to feel them again.”

“I guess that’s why a time lord needs two hearts,” I joked. 

“That’s actually not why if you—“ A tiny giggle slipped out of my lips at his response, which seemed to set off something inside of him. Shit. I wasn’t trying to make fun of him!

I couldn’t even get a word of explanation in before he looked down at his phone, grabbing its like it had been ringing and saying, “Sorry, actually, I just realized I have to go do something.” 

… What? Before I could protest, he had left. I turned to Emily who had apparently been watching the entire encounter, smiling while she waved me over to her desk.

“Does he normally do that?” I asked as I brought my chair over to her desk, accepting that I was probably going to be with her for the rest of the day.

“No, not really. Usually if he gets started, he’ll only stop when you tell him to.”

I quirked my head to the side with a sad, bewildered expression. “Why would they do that?”

“You really are a mini-Reid…” She mumbled, pushing a stack of papers over to me to read. I accepted them, a bit distracted as I started to flip through them, thinking to myself that Spencer was right— these were so much more interesting when he read them to me.

Oh well.

— _Two Weeks Later —_

I had missed two whole weeks at the BAU. Even with the altered schedule, our timelines just weren’t matching up. I sighed as I stared at the physics textbook in front of me that was trying to convince me that letters belonged in math. It was not working.

What woke me from my daydream of anything besides physics was a distant voice calling from somewhere in my room. I turned around, confused as to who could possibly be talking, only to drop my phone from my lap.

And that was when I realized I had butt-dialed Spencer Reid.

I let out a high-pitched screech as I picked up the phone, sheepishly replying, “Hello.”

“(Y/n), are you okay?” The concern clear in his tone made me feel even worse.

“I’m so sorry, Dr. Reid! I totally called you on accident. I didn’t mean to bother you.” Please don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad. Pleas—

“It’s fine, you’re not interrupting anything. You’re okay then?” He seemed as relieved as I did, and we both let out a sigh at the same time. “Yes, I’m fine. Just embarrassed.”

“Okay; I was worried. You’ve never called me before. I thought something might have happened.” I had called him at 10 pm on a weeknight and he was _worried_ about me? It didn’t make sense. Whenever we were in person, he couldn’t seem to get away from me fast enough.

“You were worried about me?” I asked, just to be sure that I wasn’t losing my mind.

“I mean… yeah. Of course I was. You’re part of the team, even if it’s just temporary.” I was? I mean, I knew I was, but it didn’t really feel like that. Especially not around him.

“Thanks, Dr. Reid. I feel so stupid.” There was a bit of a pause, like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself.

Instead, he said, “I’ve had my fair share of accidental calls. Usually they’re a prank though.”

“Was it Derek?” I said with a burst of excitement, my body language perking up in kind.

“How did you know that?” His words were taking on that character where he half laughed through them.

“He might have told me. A few times, actually. I’m glad I didn’t have to hear you yelling when I answered this call.” I bit down on my lip to stop myself from devolving, following him into a fit of laughter over something that wasn’t actually all that funny.

“I can still do that if you want,” he offered, which broke my attempts to stymie my response. “Oh, god, please, don’t. Physics homework is already giving me a headache.”

“What’s the assignment?” Truthfully, I hadn't expected him to continue this topic. I really thought that given the chance, he would have found a way to hang up by now.

“O-oh, it’s fine. You can go. I can figure it out.” I stammered, switching my phone to my other hand while I began doodling on my paper with my pencil.

“I like physics,” he replied simply, like that explained this bizarre conversation. Recognizing that it was probably something that would take him seconds, I still decided to indulge him.

The next hour and a half were spent walking me through the basics of quantum mechanics. And although I was only able to understand half of what he said, he still managed to explain it in a more intuitive manner than any professor or tutor I’d seen so far.

Unfortunately, it was getting late. I didn’t want to hang up, but I also didn’t want to fall asleep on the phone. While he talked and I tried think of something to say, I yawned much too loud for my liking.

He stopped talking, and I squeaked out a “Sorry! I’m listening!”

He just chuckled a bit, and I could almost see him rubbing his eyes in the quiet.

“No, I’m sorry. It’s getting late. I’ll shut up now and let you get to sleep.”

Unable to stop myself, I yawned again, slumping backwards in my chair as I mumbled, “What time is it?”

“Midnight.” He sounded both nervous and entertained as he said it, and he seemed even more so at my response. “Ah! I’m so sorry! You have work tomorrow too!”

“And you have class. Pretty sure you’ll do great, though.” The idea filled my heart with joy, and I wondered if he could feel my blush through the phone.

“I had a great teacher.”

He was doing that thing again, where he sounded like he had something he really wanted to say, but would stop just short of actually saying it. Instead, he just whispered solemnly, “… well, have a nice night.”

“Sweet dreams, Dr. Reid,” I whispered back.

“You too, (y/n).”

It had been two weeks since that fateful night, and I had yet to have an opportunity to thank Spencer for helping me. I'd ended up actually doing well on the physics midterm and I really wanted to tell him.

But every time I tried to get close to him, he would disappear. He was like a damn eel. A very, very cute eel. I got distracted at the thought of all the things he could tell me about eels.

I sat at his desk for thirty minutes before someone told me he wasn’t coming in today. I couldn’t help but feel like I had done something wrong.

Yet another week later, I had made up my mind,

I was going to do it today. I was going to thank Spencer and he was going to listen to me. That’s what I kept telling myself, anyway.

As I stepped off the elevator, it was like a damn sixth sense alerted him of my presence. He barely made eye contact with me before he was fleeing from his desk. What the hell was going on?

That was when I decided that I was tired of waiting. I wasn’t going to sit around and let him continue to avoid me for the rest of the internship. Either he was going to get over it and teach me properly, or I was going to switch to someone else. But I needed an answer.

And I needed to thank him, dammit!

So I followed him. I trailed after him into the kitchenette, and then split directions so I could beat him to the other end of the hall when he abandoned that, too.

It worked. He was too busy looking behind himself that he almost ran directly into me.

“(Y/n)!” He shouted, “you scared me.”

“Can we talk, Dr. Reid?” I sheepishly inquired, earning a very drawn out groan from the man in front of me.

“Just for a minute?” I pressed, motioning to the empty conference room. “Alone?”

He looked like I was going to shank him in the hallway. What could I have possibly done to make him so uncomfortable? Was it the phone call? I thought we'd had a nice time. Was I really just delusional? Ugh, see, this was why I needed to ask him.

“S-Sure. Yeah. Sure. Let’s… talk.” He literally could not have been less convincing. Still, he shuffled after me into the conference room. Once the doors were shut, I spun around on my heels, taking a long stride so that I was standing directly in front of him. The distance made him look even more terrified.

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest and trying to stop myself from pouting. I didn’t want to look like a little kid, but it sure felt that way.

“What?!” He asked, scratching the back of his head as he took a step back, “No. No you haven’t done anything… W-why would you think that?”

“You’ve been avoiding me. And whenever you do talk to me, you always get super weird.” I took another step towards him.

“I mean, I am pretty weird, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I was honestly a bit bothered that he actually thought that I would fall for it. That self-deprecating humor wouldn’t work on me.

“It’s _only_ around me! It’s like… It’s like whenever you start to enjoy yourself, you get upset about it and leave.” I swear I could see him sweating; those big, busy cogs of his mind were visibly turning behind his eyes. He didn’t want to look at me.

“I don’t know what I did, but I promise I didn’t mean to. Is it because I asked to be your shadow? I’m really sorry if that bothered you. I should have asked first. I just really liked spending time with you.” The words were starting to flow from me, and I couldn’t stop them.

“I still do! Like, that night on the phone. I-I really had fun. Learning physics, of all things! I got an A on my midterm thanks to you, but now you won’t even look at me!”

That got his attention well enough, and he suddenly looked at me with a gentle admiration mixed with something else.

“What did I do wrong?” The cracking of my voice was the only thing that alerted me I was about to start crying. God, when did I become so sensitive? This was so much more embarrassing than I thought it would be.

Spencer panicked, grabbing hold of my shoulders as our gazes finally connected. “Hey, hey, whoa, I don’t hate you!”

All I could muster for the moment was a sniffle, but he could tell I was unconvinced.

“I don’t. I don’t hate you. It’s… quite the opposite, actually. I’m sorry.” The apology came with a strange mixture of relief and confusion, I’m assuming for both of us. The opposite?

He… liked me?

“What?” I asked, reaching up to wipe the forming tears from my eyes. Thankfully, none of them had fallen yet.

“What?” He repeated, like I would forget, or not make him repeat it.

“You like me?” I clarified my question, glad that at least this time I could see into his eyes. It would be so much easier to tell if he was lying.

He laughed a bit at the undoubtedly naïve display in front of him. A half crying girl he was trying to cheer up. I hoped it was more than that.

“I mean, yeah… I thought you knew.”

“Of course I didn’t know! You never told me! Why have you been avoiding me then?” I gently pushed on his chest, huffing as I spoke. How the hell would I know when he wouldn’t ever let me close to him for longer than a few minutes at a time?

“Because I’m weird!” He said back, seemingly astonished. “Every time I start to talk to you, I just start ranting about something weird and I’m worried that you’re going to notice!”

Words can’t explain how absolutely baffled I felt. The idea that this brilliant, provably genius boy was such a _freaking idiot_. He had just started this tirade, and I was already tired of hearing this.

“I was worried that if I kept talking to you, eventually you wouldn’t want to talk to me at all anymore, and I was jus—”

I grabbed his face with both of my hands, yanking him towards me as our lips crashed against each other. My eyes were shut, but I could tell his were not. I was almost scared to open mine, to see what his reaction would be. Logically, I knew he wouldn’t outright reject me. But I was still scared.

So I didn’t. I waited.

Slowly, he began to respond. Not hurried or passionately, just softly. The tension drained from him and his hands lifted to grab onto my wrists. I finally let myself break away from him, sighing against his lips as I tried to compose myself.

My eyelids finally fluttered open, wincing as I looked up at him, half expecting him to ask me what I was thinking. But he didn’t. He just looked at me like he could see the stars I felt exploding inside of me.

“Spencer,” I whispered, looking away before I admitted quietly, “I know how to shut you up if I need to.”

His response was one of the most genuine laughs and smiles I had seen of him yet. I couldn’t help but join him, but I wanted to make sure he understood how I felt.

“But I don’t _want_ to. I _like_ listening to you talk, Spencer.” The smile on his face faltered, shifting to something else. Like he couldn’t believe what I was saying, like I was the first person to tell him that.

“Listening to you talk about things you love is one of my favorite sounds in the world.”

This time he didn’t respond with words, instead leaning forward to kiss me with the passion he withheld the first time. Well, as passionate as two can be when they’re smiling through it.

I felt like I was floating, the butterflies in my stomach lifting me off the ground. My arms snaked around his neck, pulling him closer to me. We didn’t even stop to breathe. I could spend an eternity just like this.

Unfortunately, though, that didn’t happen.

“Ahem.” We heard the unmistakable sound of Aaron clearing his throat before we even heard the door opening. Both Spencer and I immediately scrambled away from the other, and the poor guy almost fell over from the force of my shove.

“H-Hello Aaron, Sir. Hotch. What’s up.” Smooth.

“Please take a seat, the rest of the team is coming soon.” That was it? He wasn’t going to say anything? Spencer and I locked eyes, but he shook his head frantically, warning me that there was more coming.

Aaron placed the files he was holding on the table, looking up at me first. I tried to look unassuming, but the neutral look was more a grimace than anything else.

“And (y/n), I’ll be supervising your internship for what remains of the semester.” I hung my head in shame, slinking into the seat in front of me, trying to shrink into nothing.

“Reid, I wasn’t expecting to ever need to have this conversation with you, but we will talk about appropriate work behavior later in my office.” Ouch. An insult _and_ an impending lecture. Comparatively, I had gotten off easy. I guess nepotism really does help.

“Yep,” Spencer said with a matching grimace, still brave enough to take the seat next to me. Aaron didn’t stick around, heading back out, mostly likely to gather other information. For a second, I could have sworn I saw him smile.

“It was worth it, you know.”

Looking over to the man next to me, I smiled. He didn’t look at me, staring off into the distance on purpose, although I knew he could see me from his peripheral vision. Keeping with this not-at-all sneaky behavior, my hand below the table slid over to him, tentatively taking his hand in mine.

“Yeah, it was.”


End file.
